Humour: Holiday Eating Tips

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy . Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.

10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.

Remember this motto to live by: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO HOO what a ride!'"

Reportback: Turning on of the Adderley Street Lights

I must say: What a Party!!! Usually, I don't do crowds but this was not too bad. People (besides the odd few) respected your personal space (this could also be due to my size and displeased look on my face when people came too close).

We arrived a little late and managed to find a good spot, just as Bongo Maffin finished off. Shortly after we arrived, Mayor Helen Zille arrived, dutifully escorted by her SAPS bodyguards. The MC announced her arrival and the crowds went wild! Truly, she has many local supporters!

We found a great spot, almost right in front of the massive stage, next to the Adderley Street Fountain. As we got settled, Jody Williams from Idols came on. Hot numbers! ... and her voice isn't half bad either. LOL! Celine (my daughter) was in her element! Dancing and singing along with her. The crowds again raised the roof ... ok! ok! It was out in the open and there was no roof. There were even people standing on the roofs of the adjacent buildings, watching the show.

I must comment on how well the show was organized! With the amount of people present - I am told in excess of 50 000, I don't believe that there were any incidents. This could be due to the fact that the entire SAPS and Metro Services were there! I am wondering if the crime picked up in the other areas???

Then, the crowds settled for a tribute to the late Miriam Makeba, Mama Africa. She suffered a heart attack after singing her hit song "Pata Pata" at a concert in Italy. She passed away on 10 November 2008. The tribute was really beautiful. To be honest, I am not really familiar with her music but the tribute was really moving.

Then it was Luyiso's turn. He drove the crowd wild. He is truly a very very good entertainer. Luyiso has a great stage presence - energetic, with a really good voice! The women all seemed to swoon over him... I also applaude Luyiso for giving thanks to our Saviour, Jesus Christ!

5 year old drummer, Daniel Petersen, took the stage. The 'Little Drummer Boy' doesn't come close to what this kid can do on a drum kit - just 5 years old and he Wow'ed a crowd of 50 000! Impressive.

At around 8:30pm, the Mayor led the countdown to the turning on of the lights (after the MC made an Eskom Load Shedding wisecrack!). The lights came on without a hitch and are truly stunning. We decided to leave and come back another night, to drive down Adderley Street.

I am busy uploading a video clip of the countdown. It will be available soon by clicking here: Video

As we left, the parade kicked off...

Right, so, where does the food come in to all of this? Well, to be honest, I expected loads of stalls selling boeries, hotdogs, candy floss, etc. To my dismay, nothing! Sorry guys! This event was a prequil to the 2010 Soccer World Cup. I hope they have some food stalls there...

EVENT: Switching on the Lights in Adderley Street, CPT

Ok, I have been truly sleg! Truth be told: I have been really really busy over the past 3 weeks... Between the Exchange Server crashing, having a tummy bug, crayfishing and playing BattleField 2 online... I haven't had time to update the blog. With the Festive Season fast approaching, I will see what I can do about posting some Christmas-y stuff.

Sunday is the official switching on of the Adderley Street lights... I found this great article online:

Festive Lights on Adderley Street One of Cape Town’s largest public open-air events is the official switch on of the festive lights in Adderley Street. This year boasts 12 brand new light installations offering a kaleidoscope of colour with a strong emphasis on the 2010 Soccer World Cup. It is the 42nd year that this switch-on event is taking place. Some 50 000 people are expected to gather to watch the colourful extravaganza of light and sound.

Over the past two years, the City has reduced the electricity consumption of its festive light displays by more than 50%, using energy efficient rope lighting. Roughly nine kilometres were used to create this year’s displays. A special team designed the new light crossings to incorporate a strong emphasis on 2010 soccer themes. Some of the more traditional elements will be retained, but the huge Christmas tree at the top end of Adderley Street will be replaced with an indigenous aloe plant.

The aim of the festive lights is to spread joy by lifting the spirits of local residents and welcoming tourists during the summer holidays. Cape Town is expecting an influx of over one million visitors and the municipality has devised a comprehensive festive season co-ordination plan to promote a safe, secure and clean holiday for residents and visitors.

The 2010 mascot, Zakumi, and other soccer icons will join Cape Town’s Executive Mayor Helen Zille in officially launching the City’s summer holiday season when the lights are switched on Sunday, 30th of November 2008 at 20h00.

The festivities will kick off at 16h00 with a star-studded stage concert at the Heerengracht Fountain; featuring local stars such as Loyiso, Idols winner Jody Williams, Dr Victor & The Rasta Rebels, Dozi, Die Burger U-tune winner Alfredo Prins, Loading Zone, Maphello and Drum Café.

A 2 000 strong carnival parade which will move from the fountain up to Strand Street will include brass bands, a fire engine with Santa Claus, Cartoon Network characters, dancers, giant puppets, stilt walkers, unicyclists, acrobats, a horse and cart with Sasko Sam, Simba, Ronald Macdonald, Mr Pritt, as well as colourful floats, including a 2010 FIFA World Cup™ host city float. A special musical tribute to the late Miriam Makeba will be performed by the SA Youth Choir.

Two large LED screens will be strategically placed in Adderley Street to allow the expected 50 000 spectators to follow all the action on stage. The show will be complemented by a dazzling laser light display which will be bounced off mirrors and buildings along the street.

The Adderley Street lights will stay up until mid-January 2009.

Date: Sunday, 30th of November 2008.
Venue: Adderley Street, City Centre, Cape Town.

Source: http://cape.town.co.za

I hope to see you all there!